Your Body

Your Body Is Literally So F**king Done With Your Image Issues

By December 24, 2015 0
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“I’ve got a perfect body,

but sometimes I forget.

I’ve got a perfect body,

cause my eyelashes catch my sweat.”

The quote above is from Regina Spektor’s song “Folding Chair,” and it encompasses everything you need to know about body positivity. Our bodies were created for functionality, and (most of the time) they do a great fucking job at keeping us alive and thriving. Yet, for some sick reason, we take this hard-working, incredible, and frankly, irreplaceable foundation of our being, and we measure its worth by how well it conforms to an imaginary standard of beauty. Like what? Are we fucking serious? That dope-ass meat machine that carries you around is doing way more important shit than getting you laid. That dope-ass meat machine can TURN CHOCOLATE MILK INTO PEE. It ain’t got time for your Hugh-Hefner-ass, mating-season-ass, peacocking bullshit. Okay? Your heart has been beating an average of 100 beats per minute since the day you were born. Now let’s be real for a second here: the last time you worked that hard, you were doing a keg stand at the company Christmas party. So next time you’re standing in front of the mirror naked, feeling like the victim of your own stretch marks, you better drop that negativity and thank your body. That motherfucker is your real ride or die, who has had your back from literal day oneā€¦ How dare you judge? How dare you talk shit then act like you know what loyalty means.

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