Your soul

Why I Hate Women So Much. Spoiler Alert: I Am One.

By September 30, 2015 0
art-graffiti-women-wall

I have this beautiful-dark-twisted-fantastical relationship with women.

The same one-half of the population that galvanize me at the start of every single day, are the very same ones that cripple my thoughts by night. The same sex that I continually push in every which way I possibly can to further their careers are, at times the very same ones that I myself would terminate in a heartbeat.

Model Cara Delevingne may have captured my soul best in her Vogue interview when she said “Women are what completely inspire me, and they have also been my downfall. I have only been hurt by women, my mother first of all”

I fucking hate loving women.

In many ways, (and yes I am aware this is going to come off as arrogant), I feel that I am the female Kanye West. I totally understood him during his speech at the VMAS this year when he said “I feel like I had to die so other artist’s could have an opinion”. It’s true. Kanye West died that night that he jumped up on stage and took that mic from Taylor Swift. It was considered a steep no-no for an artist to speak out against the same system that propelled him to fame, but to do so while offending America’s sweetheart?

That was political suicide.

What Kanye did that night was not only dramatic, it was downright globally offensive. Fast-forward to today and Taylor Swift calls Kanye West her “best friend”, and is endorsing him in his bid for presidency in 2020–Why? Because he died for her too that night. That situation helped her to understand that she was a product within a bullshit system, and she had to decide upon herself, at what price she would be valued at.

So too has been my relationship with women: dramatic, globally offensive at times, and I’ve had to die over and over again, continuously in order to get women to see their true worth. I’ve had to leave friends in the dust to incentivize them to look toward my trail.

I have an affinity for the courageous. I want to sit around with my friends like we’re the Beatles and wonder about how we can make history. I want to question whether or not we even exist.

I want my friendships to require more of me, to fucking exhaust me.

Over the past 6 years particularly I have been repeatedly told by other women two very distinct points about my character:

“Candace, you are so inspiring”

“Candace, sometimes you have to realize that being honest, is just plain mean”.

But I never care if what I say offends someone if I’m speaking the truth.

Do you want to know what personally offends me?

Bullshit.

Untruths.

The state of business and relationships today.

The fact that every time I go into a meeting with a company exec– I’m sitting across the table from a man.

I’m starting to feel that it’s been my civic duty to snatch the invisible VMA from the women that surround me. In my heart, I truly “want to let em’ finish but…” sometimes they need to just shut the f*** up and take a look at the bigger picture.

How are there actually still women who solely look for empowerment within their relationships with men?

“That’s beautiful my love” “This tastes great, honey” “I love the way you re-organized that cabinet while I was out running a company– contributing to the number of men that run this fucking world, dear”.

He gets to go off and become a boss while she winds up with a hobby (hopefully cooking or sewing) which she is probably sub-par at, but she’ll of course think she’s fucking awesome, because he said so.

Not that such men are bad people– they  too were raised within these same paradigms; their mothers took care of them while their fathers made the money and shielded their wives from any sort of criticism because women are delicate and ought to be protected from any form of hurt and offense, right?

WRONG. Lies are not going to further anything but delusions. If you’re sucking, you’re sucking. If you’re being awesome, you’re being  f****** awesome. Neither are permanent states of existence but the terms are black and white. There is no pretty, inbetween-color-scheme where “A’s for efforts” survive. The fortune 500 list does not include 100 spots for companies and would-be executives that really gave it their all.

We cannot be hypocritical in our aspirations, ladies. We cannot strive for equality, but like, “only the lite version with less carbs”.

When I founded Degree180, I did so because I wanted to inspire a REAL movement, not because I wanted to create a false sense of reality that if we bake cookies and color pretty pictures, we can all one day be CEOs. I created this company because I wanted to shine a light on the path to get every single boss- lady to the top, and guess what? Once we’re there, we get to make the rules. We can decide that on Wednesdays, we wear pink. We can decide that we will not hire a single employee unless we first have a slumber party where we talk about our feelings and watch FRIENDS reruns. We can decide not to hire anyone that cannot quote Joey and Phoebe, or who doesn’t understand the cultural significance of “Smelly Cat” that timeless masterpiece of a song. We can have our male receptionist see any unqualified candidates out the door and then we’ll trade hugs, and paint pretty pictures because we are THERE and so whatever we fucking say, will just have to fucking go, but first…

First, we have to get there.

 

 

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