Your Heart

“Sorry” For My 2015 Resolutions

By December 16, 2015 0
Being Human
Being Human

Dear 2015 Resolutions,

Hey. How are you? I’ll jump right in here:

The one thing I can’t stand about you is our society’s idea that if I don’t fulfill you, I am either a lazy bum or an imperfect human.

NEWSFLASH – I am an imperfect human. We’re ALL imperfectly perfect humans. Are we not?

An imperfectly perfect human is totally me. And being me is what I live for.

I should say I’m “sorry” for turning out to be the typical human who gave up on you before even getting halfway through the New Year.

But you should know that I worked hard on one of you for longer than four months. That deserves something, like a celebratory bowl of Ben & Jerry’s. Or the whole carton, you know, whichever.

In all actuality, 2015 threw me some curve balls. And if I’m being honest, you were doomed from the moment I created you:

Become more organized: nope. Sorry. Wasn’t ever going to happen. I’m not messy and I’m not so terrible that I forget about upcoming tests, deadlines, etc., but I am human. So, becoming more organized was a goal of mine. Unfortunately, and fortunately, living in a chaotic, crazy mess is my organized. Do I put my shoes back on the rack? No, but I still know where they are because I take them off/throw them around in the same spots every time. Booyah (do people still say “booyah”? – I do).

Are my clothes strewn all over my closet and bedroom floor? Heck yeah they are, but just remember that that floor was clean before I started trying to figure out what to wear. It might be dirty for a few days before I clean it again…but hey, it was clean at one point – so I’m sorry you missed it.

Exercise more often/get into yoga again: – yeah… Alright people, my body is my temple, yes, but it’s kind of weak and it fails me sometimes. So this one was absofuckinglutely doomed from the start. There was no way. I mean, there is a way, but not yet. Progress. Healing. Evolving. It takes time for your temple to heal and to evolve, and it wasn’t that time wasn’t on my side – it’s that my body wasn’t on my side. Maybe next year. Maybe. We’ll see, 2016.

Make the most out of every day: This is the one that lasted more than four months. It was a rocky road, one that involved this goal being set on and off, but it lasted. It was successful. It’s also a resolution that will be following me into the next year, because I’ve learned that you can never be too happy. Life is a precious gift and it’s important to find joy in the little things that make you happy.

So what have I learned? I’ve learned that my favorite resolutions are the ones that build off of others during the year, and the ones I can work harder towards in the years to come.

In true typical human style, I mean it when I say I’m going to do better with you resolutions this year. Does that mean it’s actually going to happen? Probably not, but here’s to hoping.

I feel like each year we learn something about ourselves; we learn something in everything we do, and even in the things we don’t do. Each successful and each failed resolution tells me a little more about me; Why is it that I didn’t fulfill this? Was it just not meant to be? Did I take something away from the attempt?

I’m not going to give in to society’s pressure for perfection by being hard on myself. Most especially not for my failure to go through with you, resolution.

Because each successful and failed resolution is a part of who I am and who I have become—all in the span of just one year.

Which means each one, whether successful or not, is special.

I hope you can understand.