Your Mind

Your Issues With Dating Shorter Men Are Misogynistic

By December 30, 2015 2
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As a short girl, I couldn’t care less about Short Girl Appreciation Day (which occurred recently). However, if I am going to be appreciated for my height then shorter guys ought to be appreciated for theirs as well, because it’s the height we are appreciating, right?

Wrong. And herein lies the double standard.

It’s okay for women to be short. It’s normal and cute. A short man? Nope, not cute or normal. According to societal standards, a short man is non-masculine and odd. It isn’t uncommon to see men make fun of other men for their height based on the assumption that, somehow, a man lacks masculinity if his height is below average, and, in some cases, even average height is looked down upon.

Women, essentially, ostracize short men for their inability to dominate them (not all women, thankfully). Think about it. Many women want a tall man who can presumably protect them and, simply, stand over them. Because being loomed over and subjugated by a man’s height is so cute (sarcasm).

There, of course, is nothing wrong with being attracted to tallness or with wanting to be personally dominated. However, there is something wrong with valuing all men for their ability to dominate others.

Boys, young men, and grown men alike are esteemed for their “masculinity,” meaning they are esteemed for their power. Their dominance. Their ability to win. They are respected if they win at sports (a.k.a. defeat other men), if they never cry (a.k.a. don’t feel), if they attract many women (have sex with, rape, or dominate women), if they make a lot of money (assert their superiority over others). They are valued for their muscles, their aggression, and their indifference.

If a man breaks a woman’s heart, he has won a trophy. He has been told this is okay because it is not okay to feel. If a man cries, he is ridiculed because only women are allowed to cry. If he has no money, he is a failure because money is success and the mind is nothing. If he beats another man, he gains greatness. If he helps his team win a game, he is honored.

Discrimination against men is real and it took a silly Short Girl Appreciation Day for me to be able to explain this. Because women face a much worse, institutionalized sexism, we often ignore this discrimination against men. We focus on the bigger issues. But if you think about it, discrimination against men and misogyny are not the completely separate issues that we tend to think. In fact, recognizing and facing this discrimination against men could actually help defeat misogyny.

Who discriminates against women? Men. Why? Dominance. Why dominate? Because they are valued for this. Discrimination against men is the core of misogyny. Attack this discrimination and you are attacking the basis for misogyny. Because the typical misogynistic man wasn’t born a misogynist. He learned to be one. Maybe, instead of focusing on mending the harmful results of misogyny, we should be attacking its origin. Instead of letting misogyny grow and then, after, fighting it, we need to be stopping it before it even has the chance.

Comments

  • Frank Johnson

    This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.
    One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.
    This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me. (I did date one girl for 3 years when I was in college, who was 5’8”.)
    I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt, all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier wouldn’t have given me the time of day. And even now, may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young?
    I am now married and have 4 sons. I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate, for there are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Thus, throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a leggy lady.
    By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.
    http://shortguycentral.com/P-57/beware-of-the-reformed-heightist-woman
    This writer tells about women’s rejections in his 20’s, only to find that women now chased after him, in spite of his height, now he is in his early 30’s. HE WARNS OF THE DANGERS OF THE “REFORMED HEIGHTEST WOMAN” WHO ARE DESPERATE AFTER WASTING THEIR LIFE CHASING THE ALFA MALE AND NOW WANT A STABLE BETA WITH A STEADY PAY-CHECK.
    Here is anther on how women who found the Mr. Average (Beta Males) were worth nothing in their 20’s and now that these women are in their 30’s can’t buy a date, even from the Beta Males, titled “Why women lose in the dating game”
    http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html
    During their 20s, women compete for the most highly desirable men, the Mr Bigs. Many will readily share a bed with the sporty, attractive, confident men, while ordinary men miss out. As Whiskey puts it at whiskeysplace.wordpress.com: ”Joe Average Beta Male is about as desirable to women as a cold bowl of oatmeal.”
    ”I can’t believe how many men my age are only interested in younger women,” wails Gail, a 34-year-old advertising executive as she describes her first search through men’s profiles on the RSVP internet dating site. She is shocked to find many mid-30s men have set up their profiles to refuse mail from women their own age.
    Talking to many women like her, it’s intriguing how many look back on past relationships where they let good men get away because they weren’t ready. American journalist Kate Bolick wrote recently in The Atlantic about breaking off her three-year relationship with a man she described as ”intelligent, good-looking, loyal and kind”. She acknowledged ”there was no good reason to end things”, yet, at the time, she was convinced something was missing in the relationship. That was 11 years ago. She’s is now 39 and facing grim choices.
    Then there is the true hate monger of short men, as found at this site.
    https://nazamwasi.com/2016/02/09/short-man-sydrome-getting-over-it/

  • LTryptophan

    Completely and utterly correct.

    Ive always believed that at the heart of all misogynistic beliefs lies the emotional and psychological subjugation of men. Feminists love talking about male privilege, but often dismiss ideas that would benefit men first but women in the long term; to defeat male privilege and create a more balanced and fair social environment for both sexes we must appreciate the fact that the primary male privilege that supersedes all others is the ability to choose a mate without regard for social status.

    Thought experiment:

    1) Young, superstar, woman celebrity gets a boyfriend. Hooray. Hes a nice guy, decent looking, well spoken, and is sooo good to her. Here’s the catch: He’s 5’4″ and a struggling busboy. What do you think that the general public response would be? I’ll tell you: Ridicule and shaming of the young woman celebrity, and massive deriding of the boyfriend (and again, his famous girlfriend by extension).

    2) Young, superstar, male celebrity gets a girlfriend. Hooray. Shes a nice girl, decent looking, well spoken, and treats him very well. Here’s the catch: she’s a bit taller than him and a struggling waitress. Public response: ITS TRUE LOVE!!! They look so cute! I’m so happy for her/them! I hope they stay together.

    My point? Speaking in terms of social status, society celebrates men dating down and women up. This is the heart of all male empowerment and all feminine disenfranchisement and vice versa.

    Think about it. Think about the pressure most women feel when first introducing their bf to their friends then consider that men in the same situation do not endure half of the same pressure. As long as men alone have right to select a mate on principles and virtues if they so choose, without regard for social status, women will continue to select men based on socially enforced anatomical qualifiers, shallow indicators of social status and not anything that is truly representative of the person within. When women, the limiting agent in human reproduction, conduct themselves in this way, men are forced to compete with each other and dominate man and woman alike…all to prove they are a real man.

    My only question, since this is completely obvious to myself and others, is if feminists have obviously ignored this angle in their pursuit for equality, do they really desire it? or do they really just want more benefits for women with minimal responsibility.