Your Mind

Guess What, Parents? You Literally Own Your Child

By January 27, 2016 0

Congratulations, parents! You own your child.

You want to treat them like servants? Go ahead. Want to emotionally abuse them? Sure. Want to control their bodies? Fine.

Why am I writing this? Let’s just say an anonymous woman just found out she has absolutely no rights to see her younger brother unless one of their parents permits it. And she’s really fucking pissed because as long as he’s still a minor,  she may not see him again.

Why is she so pissed, you ask? Because she’s helped raise him since he was a toddler, and consequently he’s like a son to her. But no, emotionally abusive father has the final say. And drug-addicted mom who’s been gone for years even has more rights than sister does.

And that brings me to the state of visitation laws in the United States. Quite frankly, they are really fucking awful.

It is sometimes possible to petition the state for sibling or grandparent visitation rights but the parent/s usually win the case because, legally, they own their children and can do whatever they want with them.

It doesn’t matter how fucked up emotionally abusive dad or drug-addicted mom are. As long as dad’s sperm and mom’s egg made that kid, he’s theirs.

Emotional abuse, you ask? Isn’t that reason for a child to be taken away?

In fact, anonymous sister knows a little something about Child Protective Services and guess what they’ve said? As long as there’s no physical abuse and the fridge is stocked, everything is alright.

Well, here’s what I have to say to that:
1. The parent can just stock the fridge before the social worker arrives.
2. Most children don’t know how or aren’t allowed to cook and, therefore, most food in the fridge is useless unless the parent cooks and/or serves it to the child.
3. Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse.

And you better believe there are parents out there fooling Child Protective Services. Fooling everyone.

Hate one of your family members? Use that child of yours as a pawn in your petty family drama. Threaten the family member with never seeing the child again. Get family member to do whatever you want so they can see the child. Then, when they say something you don’t like, take child away from them completely and emotionally abuse them until they turn eighteen. When a CPS social worker comes to visit, don’t worry. They’ll believe whatever you tell them. And while you’re at it, make your child hug random strangers because that’s totally okay. Have fun.

What exactly defines a parent? Yes, a child is the biological offspring of a father and mother. But what gives a parent an inherent right to their child? Because they had sex? That’s not exactly an accomplishment. It doesn’t matter that they conceived and gave birth to that child. That’s the easy part. That’s the part they can’t control. Raising the child is the hard part. This is the part they can control. This is the part that defines them.

And what angers me the most is that children are practically seen as property. Because they’re small, because they lack higher intelligence, because they can’t do anything for the world. So let’s hide them away for eighteen years until they have something to offer. Because children aren’t people, right?

It doesn’t matter if a parent treats them poorly, makes them feel low, drives them crazy.

Because it’s too much work for everyone else to make sure one poor kid ends up okay.

Anonymous sister may love her sibling like her own child but, unfortunately, love doesn’t factor into the legal system. Parents don’t have to love their children.

What is love? Love isn’t buying Christmas gifts once a year. Love isn’t saying “I love you” every once in a while. Love isn’t abuse.

Love is an action. Love is actively caring for someone’s well-being. Love is helping someone grow, not tearing them down.

But, no, even in this situation, sex is more important than love. How dreadfully funny is that?

It’s about time we start setting higher standards for parenthood and re-examining its definition. It’s absolutely disgusting that so many children are left to the will of their abusive parents. They’re left to rot until they’re eighteen and, let’s be honest, by that time, they’re fucked up. Seriously, how many people do you know who can honestly say they have a good relationship with their parents? How many people can honestly look back on their childhood and be satisfied? Some can but not enough.

Children have next to no rights. Meanwhile, their abusive parents have the right to own human beings just because they had sex. This is wrong.