Your soul

Are You In Love, Or Are You Combating Loneliness?

By December 31, 2015 1

And so I’m thinking about love.

I’m wondering if it’s just a mind trick, and with enough time and intent, we can really love anyone.

That would explain the strange circumstance of victims, falling hopelessly in love with their captors.

It would explain my Ex boyfriend who loved me more than anything, and then someone else three months after we parted ways.

And my Ex before that, for he could hardly breathe without me, right up until the day I left, and he met his “happily ever since”.

And former best friends who have gone on to have other former best friends.

And so I’m thinking it’s got a lot to do with solidarity. 

I’m wondering if the mind sounds an alarm when it needs a somebody, an anybody to fill the void.

Trepidation and then movement.

One In. One Out.

And so I’m not so sure I’m thinking about love then.

I’m thinking that I’m thinking about loneliness. The mind pleas, the heart obeys.

Because finding a soul mate again and again defies the laws of probability.

It condescends her majesty, LOVE: Her complexity, Her struggle, Her sacrifice.

For which, my old soul is a slave to, unwilling to convert

Because not just any love will do.

Not the easy, not the available. The trappings of which would only heighten my sense of loneliness

Because if it doesn’t have the power to swallow me whole, then it is powerless.

Because when I hear my grandfather speak of the woman he’d never dare to try to replace,

My one-thousand-year-old Soul dances.

It waits.