Your Body

Yes, I Have A Condom. No, I’m Not A Whore.

By January 7, 2016 0

I have a little something to say about Safe Sex.

Spoiler Alert: It’s fucking important.

The other night, I had a guy I was dating over to hookup. Yup, you heard me, Internet — I am an educated, well-mannered woman who invited an equally educated, well-mannered man over for sex. Are you done freaking out and judging me? Because what I’m going to say next is important.

As things were heating up, I asked if he had a condom, and he said no (who in the fuck comes to a hookup without a condom??), so I hopped up and grabbed one out of my drawer.

And he not so subtly flipped out.

“Woahhhh, you’re pretty well prepared for this casual sex thing, huh?” he asked.

Um, excuse me? Get the fuck out of my apartment.

Never, in my life, had I ever been so offended. How dare a man judge me for taking precautions for protecting myself.

If the tables were turned, I wouldn’t have batted an eye if he pulled one out of his wallet — I was, in fact, more surprised that he didn’t have one. Talk about a double standard.

Safe sex is EVERYONE’S problem. It shouldn’t just be up to men to decide where and when they want to protect themselves. It’s not a feminist thing or even really a women’s thing, because I think any sexually active human (man, woman, whatever) has the same level of responsibility. More than anything, it’s about being smart and taking control of your own body.

STD’s are scary and they’re gross and 1 in 4 people have them. Take a second, and think about that: if you hook up with someone, there is a 25% CHANCE that they have an STD. Now do you understand why I insist on keeping rubbers (lol) in my night stand?

If you think a guy is going to judge you for whipping out a condom in the middle of a makeout session (which, seriously guys, STOP DOING THAT), just wait and see his reaction when he finds out you have genital herpes, because that shit ain’t cute.

Let me be clear: I’m not having  a ton of random, casual sex, or going home on skeezy one night stands with strangers (and even if I was, who are you to judge me for it?), and I do happen to be on birth control, but when it comes to the health of my lady parts, I’d rather be safe than sorry.

And FYI- I prefer ‘Her Pleasures.’